Thursday, February 26, 2015

OTHERS SAY.......... wisdom captured in my journal

Google Images: OTHERS SAY (!) (But isn't it a pretty picture?)
 
 
         In late January of 2011, I wrote a piece with the same title as this post. I believe I’ll use the identical idea—with different “sayings”--these four-years-and-one-month later. Thanks to James (Jim) Vandergrift for saving and sending me a CD of columns lost when my computer decided to quit.
         I’ll begin with the latest and work backwards. A friend on Facebook just posted this. She was at a Laundromat waiting for her clothes to dry. “It’s warm here until someone opens and clothes the door.”
 
        I asked her if that were a Freudian slip, and she answered, “I didn’t dry my Freudian Slip on this trip…”
 
        Then there’s the Republican senator from Cabot who made a huge grammatical slip: “… would have went.”
 
        From an obit: “…following a long health battle, Heaven welcomed one hell of a woman… (86). She did not lose her battle with illness, she simply bored (sic) of it, dismissed it and chose to reunite [with her loved ones]… [She] was as tough as nails and as soft as silk, and those who knew her best knew both sides.”
 
        From another obit: “She (94) and three others sang as the ‘Birdsong Songbirds’ on the radio during high school.”
 
        From a third obit: “[H]e was best known for his rose-colored glasses, and [he] resided in an ivory tower where all his loved ones were seen as infallible and just, misleading them into believing they were as marvelous as he thought.” (no age given)
 
       And yet another: “R. L. H. …finally retired to dinner with the Founding Fathers ….”
 
       From one of my favorite AD-G features: “This is so cynical, my eyebrows frosted.” –Carolyn Hax.
 
      One day, the lottery director told AD-G reporter S. Wire, “We are at the mercy of the jackpot gods.”
 
      “Utter evil can easily claim what genuine righteousness struggles to attain.” – John Brummett, AD-G.
 
      “She’ll catch you, catch you, catch you!” –over and over, the cardinal sang as I filled the birdbath with fresh water.
 
       “I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.” –Vincent Van Gogh, AD-G cryptoquote.
       “We cannot rewrite history, but we can right history.” – C. Graham, one of the Friendship Nine who, in 1960, was convicted (and served a month of hard labor) for trespassing—sitting at a whites-only lunch counter in South Carolina. AD-G/ AP – M. Weiss.
 
        “Lucky bamboo: three stalks for happiness, five for wealth, seven for health, or 21 for a powerful, all-purpose blessing.” (favorable feng shui) –L. Reich, AP.
 
       Another meaning for “mother.” A reader asked Heloise why vinegar got “floaties” in it. Here is part of Heloise’s reply. “The ‘floaties’ you see are nothing more than ‘mother,’ which is not harmful at all… Mother is caused by natural bacteria that may develop after a bottle of vinegar is opened. Most vinegar we buy is pasteurized. Some other vinegars (nonpasteurized or homemade) may develop feathery, floating objects. There’s no harm in eating it, or you can strain it out and the remaining vinegar is OK to use…Add a teaspoon or so of vinegar into a large vase of flowers to help them last longer.” (AD-G).
                There.  Now you see the wisdom and thoughts of others that spoke to me as I read. May it give you pleasure, too.


Friday, February 20, 2015

Chutzpah gets O.K. from California columnist

 
 
                Of the many things I learned early, two of them have served me well. One, a healthy, almost manic, respect for my elders. It was always, “Mr. Kane, Mrs. Weger, Brother Jordan, Dr. Thorn, President Carter.” Even as an adult, I continued this until asked by a pastor to, “Just call me Carlton.” To this day, I still hail my school principals as Mr. Weed and Mr. Merrick. And even though I‘ve had a different name for 25 years, Mr. Weed still calls me Mrs. Paulus.
The second thing I do fervently is read the state and local papers. As I’ve waded into the waters of writing, I’ve gotten a tad bolder regarding those “far-off” folks whose work appears therein. They must be ‘way smarter than I am to be where they are, and I’m a nobody from Nowhere, USA.
But, as I’ve aged, I’ve realized that if one doesn’t expand one’s horizons, one misses out on a lot of good stuff. Therefore, I’ve sent letters to Charles Allbright, John Brummett, Frank Fellone, and the Voices Page editor.
I even asked Gene Lyons to “friend” me on Facebook! What moxie! Turns out, his son works in Benton. And the reason I write a column each week is because I answered a notice from Editor Joe May wanting news from the surrounding communities, such as Arkadelphia, where we lived. I answered him, not with a phone call as suggested, but with an actual column. That shameless act resulted in uncounted weekly appearances in The Standard––for which I am grateful.
One day last week, after reading a humorous column in the AD-G, I ramped up the moxie to chutzpah, googled the columnist for the Sacramento Bee, found his email, and (gasp!) sent him a request for permission to allude to his piece in this week’s column and blog post.

 

 
"Your column, reprinted in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, "Martini without salt, please" 
... was SO funny--and so apropos of the current diet/ slender/
healthy/ etc. culture. My question: may I use (quote) parts of it for
my weekly column and blog post?
I am a healthy, salt-and sugar-eating 78-year-old woman whose dad
lived to be 90 and whose mom lived to 93. Even during my divorce, my
blood pressure, the doc said, was that of a 10-year-old. What say you?
Of course, I'll give attribution.
Thanks in advance--either way.

In no time, he zipped back this answer: “Have fun with the reprint, and avoid Pall Malls, dear. Go Razorbacks!”
Woo-hoo! Brazenness paid off! Jack Ohman, 54,—editorial cartoonist for the Sacramento (CA) Bee—in his weekly column, set us up for a visit to his new doctor because his blood pressure added up to 303.
  “[He] was very nice and very, very thin. He lightly inquired about my diet, and I assured him that I enjoyed tasty food. He wrinkled his nose and allowed as how he didn’t like pork, red meat, salt, sugar, or anything that came in a can or a package.
“As many of you know,” our writer goes on, “this allows you to eat the following diet:    
* Brown paper bags (unsalted).
*Kale puffs.
*Pea gravel.
*Any non-GMO vegetable beginning with A.
*Two cups of lemon peel.
*Nothing currently available in restaurants.
            Instead of kicking up his BP med, the doc said, “I’d like you to get back on your bike, not be around salt or any salted bicycles, and try to relax. Do you have any stress in your life?”
What Ohman answers is too long for this post, but I laughed out loud. Google this funny man at the SacBee, find his column for Feb. 10, called something like “Pall Malls, sofa and a martini.” You’ll get a kick out of it.
            Happy eating! For me? I’ll stick to salted everything—except bicycles. My blood pressure is okay. But, because it's Lent, I'll cut down to only one piece of chocolate a day.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

The entwining of two holidays

  How to combine Valentine’s Day and Presidents’ Day? Go to my book collection of compendiums,
of course. ONE THOUSAND BEAUTIFUL THINGS, compiled by Marjorie Barrows, published 1947; a Peoples Book Club, Inc. selection, Chicago, 1948. This volume belonged to Harold & Mary Louise Scott, Conway AR, but it was in Mom’s library. Harold and Mom were siblings. How it came to be in this house is a mystery.

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S PRAYER FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA:

 “Almighty God: we make our earnest prayer that Thou wilt keep the United States in Thy holy protection; that Thou wilt incline the hearts of the citizens to cultivate a spirit of subordination and obedience to government . . . . And finally that Thou wilt most graciously be pleased to dispose us all to do justice, to love mercy and to demand ourselves with that charity, humility and pacific temper of mind which were the characteristics of the Divine Author of our blessed religion, and without a humble imitation of whose example in these things we can never hope to be a happy nation. Grant our supplication, we beseech Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN:
“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.”
“I have never had a policy. I have simply tried to do what seemed best each day, as each day came.”

WOODROW WILSON:
"When I look back on the processes of history, when I survey the genesis of America, I see this written over every page: that the nations are renewed from the bottom, not from the top; that the genius which springs up from the ranks of unknown men is the genius which renews the youth and energy of the people.”

 Now, to one of the great love stories of the ages, a poem (Spoon River form: spoken from the dead) by Edgar Lee Masters:
ANN RUTLEDGE:
 
Out of me unworthy and unknown
The vibrations of deathless music: 
‘With malice toward none, with charity for all.’
Out of me the forgiveness of millions toward millions, 
And the beneficent face of a nation
Shining with justice and truth. 
I am Ann Rutledge who sleeps beneath these weeds, 
Beloved in life of Abraham Lincoln,
Wedded to him, not through union, 
But through separation. 
Bloom forever, O Republic, 
From the dust of my bosom!”
 

LOVE’S PHILOSOPHY
                             – a poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley.
The Fountains mingle with the River
And the Rivers with the Ocean, 
The winds of Heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion; 
Nothing in the world is single; 
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine?–
See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother,
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea: 
What are all these kissings worth
If thou kiss not me?

 Happy holidays to all of you.

 


Thursday, February 5, 2015

To most of us, writing is an expensive hobby

Google images--My caption: "Is it worth it?"
 
            Bad words, bad words, bad words! I had moved an article into what I thought was to be today's blog, but when I tried to find it, nothing. And it was perfect. I had opened a previous document showing the expenses v-i-v income from an earlier year’s writing ledger. It being tax time, I was considering filling out a Schedule C Profit and Loss form.
                I swear I typed  "Blog for February 5 2015” before the previous document heading. But I couldn’t find it anywhere. And the original has disappeared with it—logged-in numbers of books bought, books/mags read, miscellaneous (supplies, computer upgrades, etc., donations, memberships),  income, new works, submitted works, published works, travel, postage, number of critiques I’d done—a year of my life in writing.
                One poet wagged that I could write more if I didn’t keep such detailed records. Maybe so; maybe not.
                Nothing to do but go to 2014’s ledger and bring it up to date. Here are the latest year’s numbers:
                Postage - $33.13
                Miscellaneous - $1,959.66
                Books purchased - $246.31
                Critiques (2 writers’ groups plus contest entries judged) – 163
                Miles traveled – (writers’ meetings, conferences, retreats) 2,605
                New pieces written – 368
                Submissions – 181
                Published – (including 2 blogs, STANDARD, etc.) 496
                Readings – (books, magazines, NYT Book Reviews) 98
                INCOME – (book sales, prizes) $486.22 (Oh, I just got a tax form from iUniverse: I earned --but haven't seen--$16.22 in book royalties.)
                What we do because of the compelling joy of writing.
                To keep the blog unified, I went to a bookshelf, found what I wanted and sloughed off the other books atop it. Writers on Writing: A Breadloaf Anthology (1991) should have some jewels reminding me/ us of why folks insist on writing. I read all of Hilma Wolizer’s chapter titled “Twenty Questions.” Not what I wanted, though she had some quotes from other writers.
                So, I go to my second-most used compendium, Peter’s Quotations: Ideas for Our Time (1977). I can depend on Dr. Peter to have some useful and possibly humorous bites of wisdom and wit. He doesn’t disappoint.
                “Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.” – Jules Renard.
                "Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.” – Olin Miller.
                “The only sensible ends of literature are, first, the pleasurable toil of writing; second, the gratification of one’s family and friends; and lastly, the solid cash.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864). Dr. Peter’s aside: “And not necessarily in that order.”
                “The two most beautiful words in the English language are: “Check enclosed.” – Dorothy Parker.
                Be sure you have an adequate income before spending time writing. It’s a very low-paying, high-expense hobby.
c 2015 PL dba lovepat press