by Pat Laster
I love the Fridays after Thanksgiving. No Black Fridays in my activities. I rested, listened to the Razorback-Tiger game as I added journal jottings to the book-in-progress.
Collegian/grandson Billy watched the game from his air-conditioned bedroom, snacking on Doritos, dip and flavored water. On Thanksgiving, he was one of five young men and two young women at our family gathering—an unusual happening. One baby and a ten-year-old added more spice and flavor to our event.
I didn’t hear anyone groan because of over-eating, but here’s such a complaint I wrote two years ago for our local poets’ contest.
I Did it Again! An Overeater’s Complaint
As men of old did, so I bring
my thanks—for Alka-Seltzer! Sling
--or hide—leftover turkey. Take
me to the bed; my stomachache,
with time and darkness, should abate.
Do not disturb. I loathe myself
each year. With this much food, the elf
and waif within insist I eat
three platefuls: broccoli and sweet
potatoes, dressing, gravy, beans,
cranberry sauce and rolls. My jeans!
Unzip my jeans before I burst!
Ah -- aah. That’s good. I get immersed
in savoring the tastes of pies.
The mincemeat, pumpkin testifies
to culinary skills of those
among us. Cakes and fudge impose
their calories. Today, if I should die,
please bury me with spoon and apple pie.
An item in Joey Green’s book, Contrary to Popular Belief (Broadway Books, 2005) will cover the period between the last of November and Christmas.
In an entry titled, “The Mayflower did not land at Plymouth Rock,” he says that none of the diaries of the Pilgrims mentioned Plymouth Rock. “The Mayflower landed at Provincetown on Cape Cod on November 25, 1620, but deemed the spot unsuitable.”
So a scouting party headed by Captain Miles Standish took an open boat, stopping at Eastham on December 10 and Plymouth on December 26.
A follow-up on last week’s Lentil-Sweet Potato Salad. BAD FLOP. Tasted OK if one likes lentils, but it looked as pitiful as anything I’ve seen. First off, I cooked the entire package of lentils, but I measured out half of them which equaled one cup.
Without weighing, how much potato is two pounds? Its dressing—all of the ingredients I had to buy new—was too sparse for the veggies. I will turn it into either lentil soup or into outside-cat food. The five feral felines will eat … should eat it if they’re hungry enough.
I will spend the week between now and December 3 cleaning floors and windows, moving papers off table tops and organizing them—or tossing toward the recycle box. It is amazing to me how five flat surfaces in this office can gather so much stuff. Surely your office space is neater.
May your early run-up to Christmas be full of dust cloths and window cleaner and wax and furniture polish. And may all of your strings of Christmas lights work at the first plug-in. May your hoses and lawn furniture be out of sight until spring, and don’t forget to add Stabile to your lawn mowers and boat motors.
Welcome to December.
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