Poem: A Fish Assignment Run Amok

Thirsty in summertime,
I reach, finger a delicate piece
for morning's coffee.

A wee silverfish
hides in a china cup
in the cupboard's dark.

Oh, blech! I exclaim
and drown the interloper
under the tap,

wash and dry the frilly cup                                       
fill it with black liquid.
Later, at Goodwill,

I spy a sparkly circle--
stones the shape of silverfish--
amethysts and opals,

emeralds and rubies                                     

encased like stained glass
in metal. No errant

piece to escape
and nest in my china cup
like a silverfish.

c 2017 PL dba lovepat press

Some of my “Summer’s favorite things”

    Photo by Thurman Couch            

               Earlier this month, writer friend and mega blogger, Talya Boerner, posted a list––with photos--of her favorite summer things and asked her readership to do the same. One of my favorite things, during summer or any time, is getting ideas for this weekly column-cum-post. So, Talya, and readers, here goes:

One of my favorite things during the summer is watching birds cavort in the birdbath––like a robin did today. It dipped and shook, pecked under its arms, uh, wing feathers, repeated the ritual, shook its wings at least a dozen times, whetted its beak and continued the grooming. It seemed almost physical—like a mom might scrub her dirty son harder than seemed necessary. Almost like the bird hadn’t had a bath in too long a time. Facing away from me, it shook its shoulders over and over, reminding me of a man trying on a new jacket and shaking to get it to fit right. Then, it sidled right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot a quarter of the way around the rim. Perhaps it was practicing for the next bird schottische event.

I also delight in digging shallow-rooted grass/ weeds from the side yard I’m calling the “patio,” an area I covered with white marble rocks. Then, sitting in said “patio” among lilies, bougainvillea, mums, oxalis, and Mom’s begonia—in the shady parts of the day and cool of the evening, with my journal and the day’s papers.

Another summer (or anytime) pleasure is receiving notes, sentences, replies of endearment/ encouragement from various folks I correspond with. At my age, any hint of a compliment always brightens my outlook. When I asked a friend if I could quote him in a larger piece I was writing, he said in reply, “Quote away, darling girl.”  Now, the word “darling” gets me every time. I smiled, remembering the visit we had at Dairy Hollow a while back.

Another “upper” came when an editor in Maryland confirmed my submission of poems, “Dear Pat: your work always a sheer delight, thanks a lot.” He probably says that to all the submitters, but, still . . . . Yet a third example: from a long-time poet, editor, and friend, this reply to an email I’d send him earlier: “Ah, Pat!  How delectable to hear from you.” 

Then, there are always encouraging words from my next-oldest California brother whenever I send out these weekly pieces. “You have a very active brain, gifted of course, but infused with a range of desire for all things curious… Keep it going!”

And from a newer but beloved friend on the same piece, “I loved this. It’s as if you were writing through my own heart. I am a lover of knowledge of all kinds, lighting first on one topic and then on another. Space always calls me back. My high school years were so tangled with the space program and the lives of the astronauts and their families. Thanks for this column. I saved it on my hard drive to look at again and again.”

And from a church member, “Pat, we all just love you so much! You add so much everywhere you go. Hope you have had one of your happiest birthdays ever! Love J & M”

Comments and validations like this keep me revved up and happy. Thanks to all who act as encouragers. You are my “summer favorite folks.”

And thanks, Talya, for the inspiration.

Talya's on the left in this group of residents at Dairy Hollow several years back.

Four regional writers discuss publication of their book(s)

Imagine holding your very own book in your hands

Here is my column published in CALLIOPE in 2011. It is still appropriate for today although at least two of us have additional books published since then.

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     Here is the survey of writers in my area who've recently self published books. Brent Davis, As I See It: Memories and Musings of a Middle-Aged Southern Man; Pat Laster, A Journey of Choice; Dot Hatfield, Every Day a New Day (short stories), The Last to Know, and To Find a Home; Roland Mann, Buying Time.

         1.     Who was your publisher?

                BD: CreateSpace.com. PL: iUniverse.com. DH: Alderson Press via Lulu.com. RM: The Southern Cross.

         2.     How did you decide on this publisher?

BD: I didn’t know how to get a book published, but I knew that if I wanted it to happen fast, self publishing would do that.

PL: I looked at and through several books published by them and liked what I saw.

DH: My son (owner of Alderson Press) has used Lulu for his own books.  

                RM: I’d just acquired an agent; we discussed branding/ platform. This book did not fit into her plan and she did not want to represent it. I wanted to learn and go through the process, so I took that opportunity.

3. How did your editor "edit"?

BD: My sister edited my book. I sent it to her; she returned it with suggested corrections.

                PL: My contract called for an evaluation by a critiquer. She/he used a standard form checking either OK or Needs Attention. My OKs were 75%, with the remaining needing work.

               DH: The short story collection I edited myself. The Last to Know I contracted with a member of my critique group to edit. For To Find a Home, my daughter (who proofs in her job) proofed it for typos. After that, I read it several times to make sure it was clean.  

RM: Because of the nature of self-publishing, I asked several people if they would read, comment and mark-up my mss. The English professors I asked to pay particular attention to grammar and spelling.

4. Did you pay your editor or was that included in the price?

   BD: She didn’t want pay. PL: Included in the price. DH: Yes for The Last and no for Home. RM: No.

5.     Did the publisher edit further?

BD:  No.  All edits were up to me. They formatted the interior and designed the cover. Everything had to be approved by me.

PL: After I reworked and submitted the entire mss, the company formatted it into a 6X9 book size and sent it back for me to mark corrections.

DH: After I submitted the entire mss, Steve formatted it into book size in pdf file and sent it back for corrections. It was also my responsibility to see if there were glitches in the formatting (a blank page) and another chance to look for typos, tweak writing, etc. After these corrections were made, he sent it again to make sure I liked the font, the way the pages fell, etc.

RM: No.

6.     Where did you get your ISBN?

BD: Publisher provided.

PL: Publisher provided, though I own several ISBNs.

DH: Publisher (i.e. Lulu.com) Steve also has ISBNs but Lulu insisted.

RM: I don’t have an ISBN…but in hindsight, I probably should have.

7.     Do you think you will get your money back?

BD: Yes. I have broken even thus far. Everything else is gravy. But I wouldn’t have cared if it hadn’t. I enjoyed putting it together too much!

PL: No

DH: I hope at least to break even. If I never gave one away, I’d probably make a little.

RM: Yes––at my last signing.

8.     Check the approximate cost: A. up to $1,000; B. closer to $2,000; C. closer to $3,000. BD: B. PL: C. DH: Much less than $1,000 because Steve does the formatting and designs the covers.RM: B.

9.      Will you use the same publisher again?

BD: Yes, unless some big publishing house wants to pick me up.

PL: I’m not sure.[Changed to 'no']

DH: Lulu is less user-friendly these days. We are considering CreateSpace.

RM: I am not unhappy with my publisher…but I don’t know.

10.  Discuss the easiest part of the publication process. 

BD: It all felt easy to me but since this was my first book, I had no frame of reference.

                PL: I’m not sure—perhaps the ordering afterwards (LOL). At each step, I talked with a different “personal consultant”––at least 6 folks before the book was “live.”

  DH: I know the hardest part – the wait between each process. Probably the first correction of the first novel mss. There seemed to be a million errors––mostly mine––and I was nervous about missing any.  At the second review, I caught a few more. With the third, I pronounced it ‘perfect.’ While it was tedious, Steve was determined to get it just how I wanted it and kept sending it back for me to check. Would a national publisher do that? RM: The writing.

11.  What was least satisfactory in the process? 

BD: Nothing comes to mind. PL: The extra charges. Even with the author’s discount, 75 books (25 hardbacks, 50 softbacks) cost nearly a thousand bucks. DH: The wait for the finished product to finally arrive, the exorbitant shipping and handling charges each time I reorder. RM: It being a one-man show. Selling/marketing has proven VERY taxing and time-consuming.

12.  Advice for other potential self-publishing writers?

BD:  Have patience. There is nothing like holding your book in your hands. PL: In the end, weigh the pros and cons of different publishers and go with your “gut.” Or your pocketbook. DH: Make sure the manuscript is as free of errors as possible. While waiting for the next step, reread the mss. Be willing to hire an editor/proof reader, then read behind them. Be sure to read the final draft. Editors are human and miss things. Many self-published books with beautiful covers are marred with typos and grammatical errors. RM: Keep writing.

#

Quotes that prompted this post

This year's pears looking like a good crop--like this one a few years ago.

               Turning once more to a compendium, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, by Robert Byrne, I stopped on this jewel (?) from Woody Allen: “I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.”

                I want to know about the universe. In high school & college, I took only the General Science courses. Now, I must Google questions about the universe that come to mind. Or that I read about in the newspaper.

                This spring, I capitalized a phrase in my journal: WORLD/UNIVERSE: "It takes more than an hour for Spacecraft Cassini signals to travel the approximately one-billion miles between Saturn and Earth. The gap between the rings of Saturn and the top of Saturn’s atmosphere is between 1200 and 1500 miles across. The D ring is the innermost ring. Cassini was launched in 1997 from Cape Canaveral and reached Saturn in 2004." (– from the Associated Press.)

                I can’t fathom such distances and the technology it took (and takes) to achieve such a feat.

             Here is a second “saying” that prompted a response: “Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.” – Unknown author.

This went in a different direction for me because of what I recently learned about the human liver. “The liver is always flush with blood holding about 13 percent of the body’s supply at any given time.” (N. Angier, New York Times) “Everything you put in your mouth must go through the liver before it does anything useful elsewhere in the body.” (Dr. A. Lok, U-Michigan)

                “Gemish is the total soup of the liver. The liver oscillates and regenerates itself. It’s “to-do” list is second only to the brain, and it numbers well over 300 items “to do.” (U. Schibler, U-Geneva)

                Would I be one of the “liverati”?

                   Finally, I’ll quote from some of the previous presidents, or what others have said about previous presidents. “Nixon is a shifty-eyed ******* liar. . . . He’s one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.” – Harry S. Truman.

                “I would have made a good pope.” – Richard M. Nixon.

                “Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.” – Lyndon Baines Johnson.

                “Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.” – Bob Hope.

                “Ronald Reagan is the Fred Astaire of foot-in-mouth disease.” – Jeff Davis

                “Well, I would—if they realized that we—again if—if we led them back to that stalemate only because that our retaliatory power, our seconds, or strike at them after our first strike, would be so destructive that they couldn’t afford, that would hold them off.” – Ronald Reagan when asked if nuclear war could be limited to tactical weapons.

                We think we're in uncertain times. Clarence Darrow (1857-1938) said, "When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it."

Carolyn Hoggard, photo