Contrary to what some folks wish, lists are here to stay

 

 

                A while back, I was drummed out (it felt like—I left the group because of it) of a writers’ group because I was submitting various chapters of lists—given names, surnames, places, cemeteries, new names for churches, unknown words and phrases and the like.

                The late Ann Talley Kinnaird of Hot Springs didn’t like lists, either, she told me once on a critique. To try to prove that lists were a common occurrence, I began keeping a folder called (what else?) “Lists.” I still have it somewhere. But Ann probably doesn’t care about lists any longer where she is now. She’s probably kibitzing with St. Peter. Maybe even God. And laughing.

                All this to say, that after the experience with the writers’ group, I began seeking—and finding—myriad volumes of lists. They included The Nostalgia Quiz Book, The Big Book of American Trivia, Presidential Trivia, The Trivia Encyclopedia and The Classical Music Quiz Book.

                I’ve used materials from most of these titles in past columns. The newest book, which I would have gladly flaunted in Mrs. Kinnaird’s face is a The Book of Lists by a brother-sister team, Wallechinsky and Wallace, children of Irving Wallace. Their first compilation was in 1977 and they “were just having fun.” This volume of three-hundred-twenty lists, they say, will “entertain, inform, challenge, stimulate, and astonish you.”

                Really, that’s all I wanted to do with my original Compendium of Journal Jottings. I caved, gave up and began inserting some of my work into my website, http://www.PatLaster.com. I still have a lot of material to add.

                So let’s see, do you want to be entertained, informed, challenged, stimulated or astonished? Hmm. Not knowing exactly what readers want these days (I don’t do movies or TV or radio), I guess I’ll have to decide for you.

                Do you want to know eleven men who cried in public? I thought so. Jeff Blatnick, wrestler; David, warrior king; Lou Gehrig, baseball player; Jesus Christ, religious leader (sic); Bill Clinton, U.S. president; Dexter Manley, football player; Edmund Muskie, U.S. senator; Richard Nixon, U.S. president; Mike Schmidt, baseball player; Jimmy Swaggart, evangelist and Patrick Swayze, actor.

                Not very entertaining, you say? Of course, in the book, each reason for tears was given, most with quotes.

                How about phobias of 15 famous people (without the term for the fear)? Augustus Caesar (Roman emperor)—fear of sitting in the dark; Howard Hughes (millionaire businessman)—fear of public places and germs; Elizabeth I (British queen)—fear of roses; Sigmund Freud (father of psychoanalysis)—fear of train travel; Richie Valens (singer)—fear of airplanes. He died in a plane crash; Marilyn Monroe (actress)—fear of public places; Sid Caesar (comedian)—fear of haircuts; John Cheever (novelist)—fear of crossing bridges; Natalie Wood (actress)—fear of water. She died by drowning. And Alan Ladd (actor)—fear of birds. [I omitted five.]

                Only one more: “Six ways Cats Talk with Their Tails.” A vertical tail? He likes you—maybe; soft curves? He’s interested; a lowered tail? He’s not taking any chances; a twitching tip? The cat is miffed; a wagging tail? He’s weighing his options, and an arched, bristled tail? He’s all set to duke it out. [Each entry has a second explanatory sentence.]

                Now don’t tell me there’s not a place in our bookstores and book shelves for tomes of trivia like that.