A little humor before the year’s over

The Master of Humor, Will Rogers - Google Images



    Below is an email from a brother sent in late January of this year. He teased me saying he thought it would help me keep words in perspective while on my writing retreats. Thanks, Cliff.

 

My  Travel Plans for 2013   I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.  Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.   I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.   I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you  have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children,  friends, family and work.   I  would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and  I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.   I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I  try not to visit there too often.   I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.   Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.   One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets  the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

Let’s stay with humor this week. Here are some poems from Match.com that might tickle your funny bone.

 DETECTED by: Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

  In Congress once great Mowther shone,

Debating weighty matters;

Now into an asylum thrown,

 He vacuously chatters.

 If in that legislative hall

 His wisdom still he'd vented,

 It never had been known at all

That Mowther was demented.

FATHER WILLIAM by: Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)
  YOU are old, Father William," the young man said,
 "And your hair has become very white;
 And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
 Do you think, at your age, it is right?"
"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
 "I feared it might injure the brain;
 But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."
"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
 And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
Pray, what is the reason of that?"
"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,
 "I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment -- one shilling the box --
Allow me to sell you a couple?"
"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
 For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
 "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law, 
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw
Has lasted the rest of my life."
 "You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
 That your eye was as steady as ever; 
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
 What made you so awfully clever?"
 "I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs! 
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down-stairs!"