Letters—sent and not sent

 

            Dear Heloise, I read your columns faithfully. I’ve gotten some good hints. What I need to know is the secret way to hold the can—and my mouth—when I go to open the lid with a new Continental brand electric can opener.

While making venison-based chili, I tried to open a can of regular chili, a can of tomatoes and a can of chili beans— to only the grinding sound of the machine. I tried more than several times, so I ended up using the hand-cranked opener. I just about unplugged the new-ish machine and tossed it out.

Later, making cheese dip, I thought I’d try it one more time. Lo and behold, it opened the Rotel tomatoes and the regular chili without a groan, grind or whine. Now, Heloise, tell me: is there a robot inside that decides when to work and when not to work?

Dear Linda, How do you like J. as bell director? I'm impressed that he counts so quietly. Last week, K. asked him to count out loud all the time, but others of us demurred. He agreed to call out a measure number now and then. I tried to get C. to come play bells, but she won't leave the Wed. nights' activities at her church. Wasn't Andrew a hoot last night? He was in his glory playing both his and Mark’s BIG bells!!  

Dear Sis, I gave blood after church and didn't get outta there till 1:10. Sorry, I wanted to hear you sing whatever it was you sang today. Maybe next time. The tech said I had great blood pressure (120/80) and a great iron count (14.5). If my pint will save 3 people, I'm glad to give it. The little boy in FL with the flesh-eating disease died, the tech said. But Kali seems to be responding, Thank-You-Lord.

Dear Gloria, Thanks for your letter wanting an autographed copy of A Journey of Choice. I will mail you one--hardback ($25), softback ($15), plus $2 mailing. Do I have your address?  Oh, and thanks!!! I'm always ready to sell a book. xoxo

            Dear Sandy, Thanks for your congratulations on my accepting the newly-vacated position of poetry editor for CALLIOPE. Isn't that what I asked for several years ago?  But only if she ditched him, or he ditched himself. Sounds like he's a prima donna. Thanks for your encouragement. C. said she preferred that I take it.  So I did!!!!  

            Dear Billy, Your debit card and an invoice from HSU for $302 came in the mail. Shall I send them on? Can you pay the invoice? I've already made two payments for this term, each over a thousand dollars. Let me know the answers--either by text or by email. Do you still have the PO Box at Henderson? 

            Dear Dot, Talya's dropping by Monday on her way to Helena; I've spent all morning on the computer working on restoring/updating my lost stuff. I could use the extra day at home prepping for fall/T. Since I've already given you your birthday gift, I'm OK with F.'s suggestion for the writers not to meet until November. UNLESS, you think we ought to meet face to face.        

                Dear Readers, these letters are across time from the present to the fairly recent past.  Only one was not sent. PL