The last words –what will our families write about us?

by Pat Laster

          In the Arkansas Times’ 20-year anniversary issue, published May 9, was a feature called “Best of the ‘Best and Worst’: 20 years of high absurdity.” In that piece was a section called Best Obits. There followed three segments. In another section was another obit.
           Because of this, I consider the subject—though I stop short of using the word “absurdity”––open to other writers.
           For many years, I have read or skimmed every obituary in every paper I’ve read. Those sentences written, presumably, by family members, are noted by me as Mini-Bios or Bios for short in my daybook/journal/notebook. I may have even written one column on these interesting tidbits, but it’s been a good while back.
            Since AT reminded me, I’ll share some of those jottings with you readers and friends. Disclaimer: this is not an attempt at humor, but at getting to the crux of what’s important to the family about the deceased.
            * “B. (74) was the last real American cowboy.”
            * “If you weren’t friends with him (78) when you met him, you would be before he got through talking to you.”
            * “She (59) devoted much of her time and energy as a caregiver to family members.”
            * [S]he (78) had a unique affinity for mice.”
            *”Following [husband’s] retirement . . . she/they sacrificed dreams of exotic retirement locations and moved to [place] to assist in the raising of her/their disabled granddaughter and her newborn sister.”
            * “He (82) was married to his wife … 63 years to the day… [of his death]”
            * “… and in his last years [he] often read a 500-page book per day.” (79)
            * “In 1957, [her] family blew into Houston with Hurricane Audrey and settled there.”
            * “[She] (80) expressed that love [of family] every Sunday in the form of a family dinner after church.”
            * “She (92) was very domestic …”
            * “She (96) lived through both World Wars and the Depression.”
            * “It was his (73) pleasure to make people laugh.”
            * “He (88) truly enjoyed his life.”
            * “She (85) still carrie[d] her pharmacist license -- for 63 years.
            * “She (92) was the last living of … nine children.”
            * “There are no survivors (82 – female).”[Sad, sad.]
            * “[She was] the first woman soybean buyer for Proctor & Gamble in the South.
            * “He (91) had an idyllic childhood spoiled by his two sisters … “[Methinks he was spoiled BY his sisters, not that his childhood was spoiled. Oh, how a comma would have helped.]
            * “Her death (82) brings a new chapter to the K. family.”
            * “On the L. coat-of-arms [from her ancestral home of Spain] … reads ‘Hoc, Hic, Mysterium, Fider, Fir miter, Profilemur.’ Translated, it means, ‘Here is the mystery of Faith that we so strongly profess.”
            * “Being a wife and mother was her whole life.”                                                   

            What will our families write about us?                                                   c 2012 by Pat Laster