Looking Ahead: CHRISTMAS BOOKS for 2017

Iced Holly at Christmas: a new (possible) book if someone would write it.

              In the far-off days before the ease and cheapness of buying books on Amazon—which I now do after I received a gift card for the same amount as my age at the last birthday––I bought, or was presented with, several Christmas-themed books. The seven smallish volumes adorned the coffee table last year and included one I’d found at Dollar General, Agatha Christie’s Star Over Bethlehem. A trade paperback of “Poems and Holiday Stories,” it’s not at all the expected mystery genre. The first poem and the first short stories are all the holiday fare I could discern. Available at Amazon from $4.29 and (way) more.

Politically Correct Holiday Stories—For an Enlightened Yuletide Season by James Finn Garner, 1995, is a ninety-nine-page hardback volume of humor. Retold stories are “’Twas the Night Before Solstice,” “Frosty the Persun (sic) of Snow,” “The Nutcracker,” “Rudolph the Nasally Empowered Reindeer,” and “A Christmas Carol.” Amazon’s prices vary from used (.01) to Kindle ($2.99) to audio/cassette (.49).

A gift from friend Linda in 2007 is an unpaginated hardback with dustcover, Christmas Wishes: inspiring sentiments for the festive season, edited by Tom Burns, 2004. Black and white photos of polar bears and other animals in the snow accompany each sentiment. Examples from the first, the middle and the last follow. “The perfect Christmas is a frozen land full of warmth.” “There’s nothing sadder in this world than to wake up on Christmas morning and not be a child.” “May peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!”

The Christmas Box by Richard Paul Evans, 1993, has become to some a classic. Unlike most generic Christmas stories, Evans manages to bypass triviality, imbedding these pages with humble truth and emotion. One-hundred-twenty-five-pages, hardback, dustcover—I have no idea where or when or how I came by this book. Amazon shows over 350 reviews. And since I Googled Amazon, an ad for the book appeared on Facebook--$10-something as the price.

“Creative Questions to Illuminate the Holidays” is the subtitle of Bret Nicholaus and Paul Lowrie’s book, The Christmas Conversation Piece. Hardback, red-spined, the small book contains 302 questions to use for prompts—either written or spoken. The first one is: “In your opinion, what would the ultimate winter wonderland look like?” The 100^th one is: “If you were going to create and market a holiday cologne or perfume, what would you choose for the fragrance?” The 200^th question is: “You have two options for where you can spend Christmas: a ski resort in the mountains or a tropical resort on a Caribbean island. Which would you choose?”

The 300^th one is: “If snow could somehow fall and accumulate in a warm climate, would you enjoy it more?” As with the other books, I have no annotation about where this little book came from. On Amazon, it can be bought for $.01 plus s&h up to $8.99 on Kindle.

John Grisham’s 2001 novel, Skipping Christmas, offers “a hilarious look at the chaos and frenzy that have become part of our holiday tradition,” according to the book jacket. Amazon’s prices range from $1.65 to $14.00. It later appeared on my FB page advertised at $5.68.

Last but not least, is the Hallmark Book’s, The Joy of A PEANUTS CHRISTMAS: 50 years of Holiday Comics.  Hooray, there’s an inscription: “To Billy, March 22, 2003, from Susie Leird, (friend from Benton’s First Christian Church), whose birthday was the same as Billy’s. If you don’t have this book, it’s available at Amazon for one cent!!! Hie thee to Amazon pronto! It’s not too late to begin stocking up now for Christmas, 2017.

Happy New Year. We hope.

A December hodge-podge

Finally, lights on the mantel - 2016

                  How can anyone concentrate on only one thing at a time during December? I know how: when an assignment was due by December 11—a Sunday, no less. But I persevered, and the piece was sent through the ether to Arizona for publication nearer Christmas.

                 How about I mimic the big boys-and-girls and “clean out” the notes in my journal? May I, please?

                On December 4, our Aunt Mary Dirth Scott would have turned 100. Alas, she died a month before that auspicious date. That leaves one daughter-in-law and two sons-in-law living out of Mom’s seven siblings/ spouses. On Dad’s side, no sibling or spouse survives—only their children.

                A month to the day before Christmas, our cousin Jerry, 68, a graduate of the Arkansas School for the Blind, died. He is the eighth male cousin to die on both sides of our families.

                But there are celebrations for the living. Among them, (thank-you-Lord) is my second son, Eric, who turned 54 earlier this month. And a brother-in-law whose birthday was 11^th, and a brother (next oldest to me) whose age will turn over one more number on December 19. And then there’s Jesus’s birthday celebrated on the 25^th.

                December is another prime month for baking goodies. Here is an easy-sounding recipe purloined from Siouxpage’s blog:

              “BROWNIES: *4 giant milk chocolate candy bars (5.29 oz. per); * one family-size brownie mix that fills a 9 x 13 pan. Line pan with parchment paper. Spray w oil. Line bottom of pan with bars being sure every inch of the pan bottom is filled. Make brownie mix as directed, pour over candy. Bake as per the mix. Cut into small squares.”

                Elise R., who owns the Crescent and Basin Park Hotels, also owns War Eagle Mill, but is selling the latter. I met Elise at Dairy Hollow (below the hill from the front of the Crescent) in October.

                WORLD: Every year, 9 million Chinese students compete for 7 million university seats. In 2015, the number of Chinese high school students—more than a quarter who are ‘parachute’ kids (coming alone) --rose from 1200 to 52,000. –from F. Shyong, L.A.Times.

                Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Here is another teacher (besides me) who took her entire class to the principal’s office. This one was in Helena-West Helena, according to E. Besson, AD-G. Mine was a 7^th grade group of boys whom I trotted from the music room behind the stage at Bauxite all the way through the auditorium, and to Mr. ‘Tick’ Bass’s office. The boys behaved better after that.                                                                                                        

                BEST NEWS I’VE READ ALL DAY: “The president cannot literally press a button on his desk and start WWIII. There is no ‘nuclear button.’ – A. Wellerstein, historian of nuclear weapons at the Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken, NJ, appearing in Sunday’s AD-G.

                Thank goodness! Now that the Electoral College has spoken . . . we’ll have to take it one day at a time.

                 

 Daughter Annamarie's pumpkin snowman, 2016

In thrall of/ to Nature

             After an earlier chide from the gas company about my using waaaay more gas for heating than my “efficient” neighbors, I received another letter giving me a “GREAT” and two smiley faces. I had used 80% less gas this month, only two CCF. “Efficient” neighbors averaged ten CCF and “All neighbors” used 19. My rank—out of 100 neighbors—was #6. ( How were they to know I was gone for two weeks during that period? Ha! Joke’s on them). Their suggestions for energy saving: check air filters each month, seal air leaks, be smart about dish washing—only full loads, use air-dry setting, avoid special cycles like ‘rinse only.’

Happy 54^th birthday on December 3 to my second son Eric, a soon-to-retire career highway department employee, who lives in Hot Springs with wife Lisa and daughter Lainee. His son James lives in England AR. Color me proud, proud, proud.

Here are some unusual (to me) facts about weather gathered in one place from my readings over the last few years. Perhaps you will find them interesting, too.

* In January, 2010, the United Kingdom was the coldest in thirty years. The lowest temperature was minus 8.1 degrees Fahrenheit. Norway was the coldest in two decades at minus 44 degrees, F.  [Understatement: “It’s cold. It’s just cold.” ––John Lewis, National Weather Service meteorologist, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, hereafter known as AD-G) article by K. Heard.]

* The “Acqua Alta” phenomenon denotes exceptionally high tides that often flood most of Venice in the winter.

* The 2010 earthquake in Haiti at 7.1 on the Richter scale was the worst in 200 years. [Joe Downey, New York fire battalion chief, describes the earthquake in Haiti as of “a magnitude at least 100 times worse than Katrina. Leonard Pitts, in an AD-G column January 16, 2010, said, “Sometimes, the earth is cruel.”]

* “I’m not going to miss the sight and sound of rain and thunder in February to sit inside a church building and wish I were outside.” – Pat Laster, on a Sunday morning after retirement as the church music director.

* Any time the earth moves under one’s feet, it’s scary.” – Scott Ausbrooks, on Guy’s [Arkansas] several earthquake swarm, October 2010. About 100 earthquakes have been recorded since that September in Faulkner Co (AR)—all near the community of Guy.]

            * Any earthquake less than 43 miles deep is considered shallow.” – Ibid [Unfathomable! That is the distance from Benton to Arkadelphia!]

* “We took on Mother Nature. She threw everything at us but the kitchen sink, from timber, to boats that were sunk, to tree branches,” said George Pavlou, acting regional administrator for the Environmental Protection Agency. “We prevailed in the end.” --AD-G, October 12 2009. [ I doubt that! Perhaps temporarily.]

            * In mid-January 2011, every state but Florida had snow on the ground––even Hawaii.

            * Two phenomena caused the extremes of weather during winter 2011: La Nina and a large high pressure system over Greenland.

            * On February 28, 2011, I actually felt the 4.7 magnitude earthquake, one of the Greenbrier-Guy swarm. First, my recliner shivered, then the strangest sound began, centered in the dining room. By the time I arose, the sound was dying, and I could see the gentle shaking of the dishes in the china cabinets.

            *April 2011 was the deadliest tornado outbreak since March 1932 that killed 332.

            *The Mississippi River crested at 59.2 feet in Arkansas City on April 21, 1927 and in Helena, 60.2 feet on February 21, 1937.

            * Sand boils . . . can cause cavities to form in levees, especially if the pressure on both sides is not the same. Sand boils with sediment seeping is NOT good. Clear seepage is okay.

            *One definition of tornado: “indifferent destruction of the wind.” – S. McCrummen

            I am in complete thrall to/of Nature. We are forecast to be hit with frigid temps from a polar vortex very, very soon. So glad that good neighbors/ friends lit the pilot lights here.