If I were God – a Dr. Frank Crane essay

I'm getting over an unhappy experience with the sales couple for a restoration company, but whose main thrust was replacing roofs. They insisted that I lie to my insurance company so they could get my deductible and whatever the insurance paid. Of course, I wouldn't, which made them huffy. In the meantime, I called their boss and apprised him of the situation.This emotional upheaval left me bereft of time and energy to generate blog material. I turned to earlier writings and found something that seemed appropriate.

Dr. Frank Crane wrote eight volumes of four-minute essays. I have volume eight, published in 1919, but no information of how I came to own it. Here is the essay that caught my eye. I think it still fits our country's situation.

"There is an old epitaph that runs: ‘Here lieth David Elginbrod. / Have mercy on him, gracious God, / As he would do if he were God, / And You were David Elginbrod.’

"Maeterlinck makes the old man in Pelleas and Melisande say, ‘If I were God, I would have pity on men.’

"Omar somewhere wishes that he might grasp the sorry scheme of things entire and remould it nearer to his heart’s desire.

"If you were God, what would you do? Not that you impeach the divine wisdom, criticize the Omnipotent; but what changes would you make in men and things?

"If I were God I would enter all men’s breasts and take out the will to war.

"I would eliminate hate from every heart, and give every one ‘good-will toward men.’

"I would make cruelty, fraud, and injustice loathsome to every creature, so that none would do deeds of that kind, nor think such thoughts, any more than he would cut his flesh or eat nauseous stuff.

"I would make men’s appetite crave only such food as is wholesome for them, and cause them to turn sick when they are about to eat or drink too much.

"I would make every man and woman loving and loyal, and have every Jack find his Jill and live happily ever after.

"I would allow only enough children to be born to maintain the population to a sufficient number, and have them all live free from disease their allotted span.

"I would make death a luxurious and desired experience, when death’s time comes.

"I would do away with the motives of money, fame, and pride, and make every man’s desire be to serve well his fellows.

"Every person should receive the same wage, ‘to every man his penny,’ and the only emulation should be for superior helpfulness.

"I would put in every human soul enough intelligence to control and balance its passion.

"I would make every woman beautiful, and as good as beautiful, and all men brave and honest and true.

"Every child should be happy and obedient.

"I would remove all lions, tigers, snakes, and fierce carnivorous beasts, and would cause human beings to abhor flesh food, so that none should any more kill.

"I would have born into every human creature’s nature a dominant passion for the good, the true, and the beautiful.

"I would have all humanity co-operate and organize for their mutual welfare, each for all and all for each, and take away the lust of contention.

"When I read this over, I said to myself: ‘Why so hot, little man? Perhaps, after all, that is what God is doing, only He is not in so much of a hurry as you. Be still. And wait. For a thousand years are in His sight but as yesterday when it is past, and as a watch in the night.’

"To which I could make answer in no wise, except in the deep and ancient cry of the Hebrew poet: ‘How long, O Lord? How long!’"

Pat, again: Here endeth the lesson. Thanks to the Rev. Dr. Crane.

Japonica (PL)

How one’s small contribution adds to world-wide disaster relief

 

A collection of UMCOR shirts

photo by Carolyn Hoggard

 

One of my reasons for not rejoining the Chancel Choir at one of the churches I served several decades ago is because of the early hour of the services. Now that I’ve retired as a church music leader, I relish my early Sunday mornings.

But on January 3, I made an exception. As one of a 6-person mission team headed to south Louisiana, I managed to get all my gear to the church parking lot at 7:45 that morning. The church had rented a mini-van with 3 sets of seats. Laura, the youngest, began the driving. Diane was fingered as the navigator, so she got the other front seat. Connie, Kathy, Carolyn and I took turns crawling into the very back seats. The middle seats folded up with a pull on the tabs; everyone had to be out of the way or a finger might get smashed.

Randy kindly lifted the heavy bags into the baggage area and small totes and sacks and boxes were piled or stuffed around them. All set.

Not much traffic that early on Sunday morning, so we zipped along nicely, stopping around Texarkana for a rest period and a fill-up. (The van had a half tank full and had to be returned with a half tank.)

Eight hours and ten minutes later, with Carolyn and Laura alternating as drivers, we pulled into the campus of Sager Brown at Baldwin where the United Methodist Committee on Relief depot (warehouse) sat. I had been there three times before, Kathy, Diane and Carolyn had been once before. Connie and Laura were “newbies.” We were all in for a fantastic, but hard-working week. We found out WHAT we’d be doing at the Monday morning orientation meeting at the depot.

That week’s work was to verify health kits sent in my myriad UM churches. After we’d opened and checked each pack, being sure that all items met the requirements, we restuffed the bags, resealed the baggies and sent them over to the packing table for inclusion into cardboard boxes holding 24 kits each.

Imagine a tall table with 3 stools on each long side, a place to put your feet that wouldn’t reach the floor. In the center of the table were bins of hand towels and washcloths, toothpaste that the depot had purchased with a March 2018 use-by date (did you know toothpaste had an expiration date?), toothbrushes, combs, nail clippers & files, band-aids, boxed soap bars. These were provided by the depot to replace any items in kits that didn’t pass muster.

Our depot assistant Geretta expertly showed us how to pack the kits and what things were NOT allowed: militaristic, patriotic, or holiday motifs or themes.

Some of the items to be replaced were hand towels with stains or that were kitchen towels; washcloths with stains or that were dishcloths; combs that “zinged” when you ran your finger down the teeth, those that could be bent nearly double, or pocket combs and those with odd-type teeth. You’d be surprised at how many kinds of combs are out there.

All soaps except Ivory and Jergens were allowed—it had been noticed that those two brands contained so much moisture that they sometimes melted onto the entire kit, especially when the boxes were stored for a period of time; toothbrushes had to be boxed, but could not have a local dentist’s name and phone number affixed. Nor could the packaging contain a flag; toenail clippers had been added to the regular clippers and/ or nail files—one or the other; and six regular-sized band-aids—not five, not seven or ten, but six.

Lay out the hand towel, center the washcloth (I placed mine diagonally) on the towel, lay a comb in the center, top that with a toothbrush. Place box of soap above the comb, add band-aids and clippers on top, and lay a tube of toothpaste on top of the toothbrush.

Pull the top corner of the washcloth tightly toward you, lay the opposite corner, also pulled tightly, on top of it, pull other corners toward the center, then begin wrapping the hand towel around the center pack, rolling it all the way up. Fold the ends of the towel toward the center until your pack looks like a soft brick.

Stuff it long ways back into the gallon baggie from whence it came, roll it toward you, pushing out as much air as possible before sealing it. Fold it over, pass it to a runner—Walter, in this case—who had a plastic clothes basket and went to all six tables collecting finished kits.

During the week, nearly 6,000 kits were verified, packed into boxes, the boxes put into larger bins which were labeled, shrink wrapped and loaded onto shelves in the massive warehouse by Freddy and his forklift. There they will stay until some official calls from anywhere in the world with requests for aid.

Doesn’t that sound like something you might want to be involved in?

In the evenings, we could work jigsaw puzzles or in our case, play Mexican Train dominoes. Guess who won this game?

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